#6 Bill O’Reilly: Conservative Tool

 yes, i am a pompous doucheBill O’Reilly. The man will proudly tell you that when listening to him, you are “entering a no-spin zone”. Nice gimmick, except he’s a pompous windbag with his own agenda. That becomes obvious after watching him for about ten minutes. His interviews are a joke. He asks his guests questions the way an 8th grade bully “asks” a 5th grader for his lunch money. O’Reilly is boring beyond description because he essentially interviews himself every night. He asks a question and as the guest’s answer begins, he interrupts and answers his own question while insulting his guest and making a mockery of news and the art of interviewing. He is a bad conversationalist and a real tool to boot. Imagine if you met him at a party or even if he were your professor in a class. He is the sort of guy that you would walk away from thinking “wow, what a prick.” However, the funny part is that Bill thinks he is this country’s last hope. Crazy sonovabitch thinks that he is the voice of reason in this colossal mess. He’s like your drunk uncle lecturing the rest of your family at Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, one would assume that Bill would be investigating serious issues. One would be wrong. O’Reilly spent considerable amount of time in the past few years attacking hip-hop music for vulgar lyrics. Thank you, O’Reilly you world-beater! You champion of the world! 
Bill keeps himself busy..
As rap has become mainstream, sponsors have signed rappers to be spokesmen and this does not sit well with Bill. When Pepsi signed Ludacris to a deal, Bill lambasted Pepsi for being “irresponsible” and signing a “gangster rapper” to pitch soda to kids. He claimed it was highly unethical. Of course, Ludacris is about as “gangster” as Miley Cyrus (who Bill also had a problem with). Ironically, soon after successfully pressuring Pepsi into cancelling their deal with Ludacris, Bill was slapped with a lawsuit by the producer of his show Andrea Mackris. Her lawsuit claimed that O’Reilly “subjected her to repeated instances of sexual harassment and spoke often, and explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity, and sexual fantasies. The specific quotations led to speculation that Mackris had recorded the conversations, though this has never been confirmed. O’Reilly never explicitly denied the conversations, even prior to their settlement, but he did deny engaging in any physical or sexual assaults or “offensive touching.” He also alleged that Mackris’ motives were only monetary and political in nature. According to newspaper reports, O’Reilly paid Mackris millions of dollars as part of a settlement, whereby both lawsuits were dismissed (her lawsuit and his counter lawsuit), but the terms of the agreement are confidential.”


Well Bill, Mount Rushmore won’t be calling anytime soon.. and Pepsi probably won’t be either. Of course, after the news, many a rapper was happy to call out squeaky clean O’Reilly. Ludacris spat on a track “Hey Bill O’Reilly, kiss the plaintiff and the wifey” and Snoop Dogg…well, just watch this clip to see what he said. (Bill’s smug response is good for a laugh also.. “pool boy” haha)

Bill has become the conservative old windbag who keeps talking and never listens. His entire show has become a parody of itself. He is crazy to the point that he now invites people on who make him look like a clown, yet he still thinks the joke is on them. It’s easy to think that the man is going senile. It makes me wonder if we are nearing the end days of the classic O’Reilly, that old bulldog who came into the newsroom kickin ass, takin’ names and calling his own biased opinions “news”.  Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

Daamn, if I worked there, I would pull that same prank on Bill everyday. Who knew that Inside Edition was so intense? The thing about Bill O’Reilly is that he takes himself waaay too seriously. That’s his Achilles heel. So, one can’t just try to out-yell him or out-insult him. It takes a smart, understated approach to deal with such a colossal idiot. Enter Stephen Colbert.
Watching O’Reilly get clowned by a parody of himself is just about as good as it gets. Additionally, I highly recommend this video made by a “jay smooth” where he shows us what it would sound like if Bill O was a rapper himself. Hysterical…


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