Free Association

Tonight, I’m writing just to write. 2am. Laptop. It’s become a ritual. By the way, ritual is one of my favorite words. Rituals are usually the most fun parts of things. For example, if you smoke cigarettes, it’s the ritual that’s harder to break in my opinion than the physical addiction. I miss buying a pack and packing it tight, squeezing out that first guy to see how much white was left on the end. You miss the cigarette breaks more than the cigarettes. Ritual. You miss having a smoke post-meal. Post joint. Post…many things. Ritual.

I read an article today.  Have you ever had a very brief flashback to a moment of personal triumph? I’m sure you have because I do all the time. Mine are quite small in the scale of the world and all else in it but they fill me with enormous well-being. They are random flashbacks of  quiz competitions as a schoolboy, playing basketball from the time I was a kid up till and including three weeks ago and lastly this little blog and a handful of things that I wrote that I come back and read and I say “Wow, that’s not so shitty.”  In fact, to me, it’s good.  That article said that whatever comes to you in those fleeting moments are the pleasures of your life. I suppose it sounds obvious. Anyway, it’s been two years + since I started this little bugger and although I haven’t been consistent, it’s given me a place to be forthright and true. I don’t even have anything to write tonight. Nothing to say really. I came just because.