The 2017 Siddos

Oscar Schmoscar! 

Nobody cares about that antiquated three-hour celebration of fuddy-duddies and their cold clammy takes on movies anymore! Roll with the times…it’s time for an awards show that gets that you’re too busy.

It’s the 2017 Siddos! Put your hands together for The Chats!

Shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, and none of that wrong envelope shit either! Plus, we are NOT trying to milk the suspense here. Here are all the winners:

    Best movie: Get Out
    Best Writer/Director: Jordan Peele, Get Out
    Best Man Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
    Best Woman Actor: Vicky Krieps, Phantom Thread
    Best Male Scene Stealer – Lil Ren Howery- Get Out
    Best Female Scene Stealer – Allison Janney – I, Tonya
    Best Accent: James Franco, The Disaster Artist
    Best Cartoon: Coco
    Best Friendship: Lady Bird, Get Out
    • Best Soundtrack: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Brandy, You’re A Fine Girl… 

    • Best Score: Phantom Thread

Regal AF 

    • Coolest Clothes: Phantom Thread

FRESH AF 

    Best Non-English movie: Okja
    Best Badass: Jeremy Renner, Wind River
    Best TV performance: Walton Goggins, Vice Principals (RUSSELL)

NSFW Language, worth it 

    Best Movie Theater: American Film Institute, Silver Spring
    Best Movie Snack: Chick-Fil-A strips (4 count)
    Best Sauce: Sweet & Spicy Sriracha
    Best Deal: AMC Stubs card=$5 Tuesday movie
    Best TV show : Vice Principals Season 2
    Best TV episode: Black Mirror, Hang the DJ
    Personal power rankings 2018: Jordan Peele, Jake Gylenhaal, The Rock, Issa Rae
    Lifetime Achievement Award: Owen Wilson

This is Owen’s third lifetime achievement Siddo! The man just keeps living life to the hilt and firing up this one-man academy. 

    Best Thing: Exposure of the dirty creeps working in the movies. Within a few years the movies being made will be more diverse and intelligent as a result of more women being able to get greater positions of power. Gonna be awesome.
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